Practicing Enough?

Well, I havent written in a long while again. Truth be told, I dont write much unless Im inspired, or I have to rant. Right now I have some extra time, so, I guess I'll write.

Since my last entry, about just doing my own readings for myself,I havent made much prgress in the way of astrology and Tarot, although I feel more comfortable with both now. Astrology is starting to pull together for me, I understand the value of houses much better now.

Although I cant tap into astrology as quickly as I sometimes wish I could, I see the potential for understanding and outlining any situation, as well as prediction. The way I see it, you could probably predict fairly exactly what will happen, or define any current situation fairly exactly as well. I know this is possible. The way I've used astrology so far is very loose, I mean, I dont take all aspects into account altogether to form the bigger picture. I use basic transits to help myself gain some insight into what is presently going on for me, but I know I could see me and my situations almost perfectly mirrored if I took the time. I just know this. Do any others have the opinion, or better yet, knowledge and experience of this?

Anyway, in the meantime Im going to keep plugging along.I really dont do enough astrology and Tarot. I should do more. But Im not going to. I dont feel like it. ;) I just do it when I need to.My interest just isnt flamed enough somehow, and Im doing other things at the moment, like playing guitar. Oh well. It will come when Im ready. Or the other way around.

My Journey

When I look for answers, in Tarot books, Astrology books, or from anyone who practices either of these, I get no emotional reassurance. I am left within the prison of my intellectual mind; I hear a little bit more information (I am a Gemini), but I don't come to any conclusions. What to trust? Who or what to turn to? I love Astrology, and I love the Tarot (although I don't have much experience with the latter). But each time I read a book about astrology or Tarot, I don't resonate with the material very much. Rather, I gain a perspective that could help me in the future, but doesn't resonate with my experience of my moment.

I feel its time to start doing my own readings, leaving the books and information and trying to do it for myself. Its time to buy an ephermis, a proper Tarot deck and just do it. I think that would be very exciting. And Im ready. I realize everything all these experienced teachers doesn't mean anything to me, it is a chorus of voices shouting to make the right choices and I cant hear myself above the din. Its just time to start doing my own thing. I have not trusted myself because I thought I was too inexperienced and not good enough. Maybe I was/am(?) too inexperienced. But Im ready to start my own journey in the "Realm of Astrology and Tarot".